When we, me n my Dear Husband (DH), were desperately looking for a WOH having moved to a bigger 2-bedroom, this lady was referred by a wife-of-husbands-friend-becomes-your-friend with a hire-at-your-own-risk disclaimer.
‘Milne aa jao, achhe se baat karte hai’
“Ji Bhabhi aati hu”
It’s hard to say what was scarier — interviewing a stranger to live with us or cleaning the apartment ourselves.
“Haan Bhabhi sab aata hai banana — roti b banati thi ” … basssss .. “ab rulaegi kya pagali”!!
Getting a WOH who could make desi Khaana including the hot-flat-circular-dollops-of-ghee-on-top kinda delights in pardes was overwhelming. And that was the end of discussion .. She was on-board !
“Abhi 8 baje hai Bhabhi .. 10 baje tak aa jaungi samaan leke”
Its fascinating how these Burmese immigrants learn foreign languages like Hindi and Thai so quickly !
“Jaldi aana .. jaldi uthana padega na tumhe .. chai nashta aur tiffin sab banana hai “… was me securing my immediate future (read raat ki neend-Subah ka chain).
Oh boy !
No getting up early to cook .. yet dabba, garama-garam roti;
no cleaning especially after meals .. just wash ur hands and seedhe TV ke Saamne ;
no brooming-mopping ..
and to top it up..
eternal happiness — ‘ Chai ka cup haath me’ when u return from work!!
By God’s grace, our days went from ‘No mercy’ to ‘Full mercy’.
My heart couldn’t contain my excitement hence my eyes offered to help !! Too much happiness isn’t good for sleep u know.
Never mind … small sacrifice for a happier future!
Our mornings were fresher — more important things to concentrate on and less chores to shout and fight over.
This Woh was a solution to a variety of our problems. Moreover she had a ‘never say No’ attitude.
Her “Aata hai Bhabhi” meant ‘she is good at it’
“banaya hai Bhabhi” meant ‘she knows about it but never actually made it’
Her “aap log kya daalte ho usme Bhabhi?” was ‘she doesn’t know it at all’ ..
“usme to time lagega Bhabhi” meant ‘she has never even heard about it’…
but you saw .. she never said NO! Ever!
I kinda liked that about her. Plus she turned out to be a good cook .. even her mix-veg (with eggplant and beans) was yummy !!
Being a good learner, her transition from brinjal and cabbage in pav-bhaaji to actual potato-cauliflower one and from just-cleaning-the-floor to cleaning-the-shelves-and-windows-too was smooth enough.
Apart from these qualities, she had a unique dressing style. Her colour palette mostly comprised of pastels of grey, blue and all manly colours. She had a slightly dark complexion with generally no makeup or even smile on, mostly a braided tail tied up with a clutch, the boyfriend-shirt and a Bermuda combo probably aided her penchant for sweet dreams specially at weird hours.
She was promised 2 paid leaves per month. Well, there was a learning curve involved here .. stay with me … if tomorrow is her, considered 1-day paid leave, she would be out of our house today in the afternoon 2ish and would be back day-after-tomorrow morning 8ish if she couldn’t come up with any reason not to. Factually it was a 2N-1.5D ka package!
She wanted some extra income — so our friend offered her to clean and mop her apartment — hardly 1-hour-a-day job ! But I suppose this mahalon ki rani preferred work-from-home to client-side and that job was reduced to a 1-day-stint.
“Main aise kaam nahi kar sakti Bhabhi”
“###haan client-side me to kaam karna padta hai ..###”resonated my mind silently.
At the beginning, we missed the smile that our Thai Woh always wore, big time. But a few days later we started missing a lot of things. Sometimes fruits in tiffin, to salads for dinner, from ironing on DH’s shirt to forgotten diamonds on my table. And from our chai time deadline because of her extended naps to her welcoming face when the guests are home.
As much as she was a good cook, she only loved (at least we assumed that) cooking for the 2 of us, ‘guests’ gave her a swollen face.
One fine day I came home to a dark living room and she cooking in the kitchen — a rare site. Generally she would be at her favourite pass time — watching bollywood flicks on our TV-WiFi. And what time our dinner was cooked everyday is a mystery. Dark bedroom with a colder floor was alarming too.
‘Aaj AC band karna bhool gaye the kya hum?’
‘Nahi to Bhabhi’
‘Ok’
A few days later .. déjà Vu.
Let me assure you all ‘I am not as dumb as I seem to be’ .. and really, me too smelled something fishy but decided to ignore it all over again.
Now our house started to be extra clean and tidy .. rooms started to smell nicer, tastier food, newer cuisines .. and biggest of all .. she opened the door with a smile!
Whooaaaa days of bliss were back!
However, as it should, in a few weeks our ‘happy’ balloon bursted, we missed DH’s engagement ring to the point of venting it out to her.
“Aise Kaun kaam karega”.. “aise baat kari hai aapne to koi kaise kaam kar sakta hai “ .. “ main nahi reh sakti Yaha” …
“ Suno xxxx tumhare Alawa to koi Yaha aata jaata hai nahi .. to bhaiyya ki ring to tumhe hi pata hai kaha hai …”
“ aise kaise bole ho Bhabhi … mujhe Yaha kaam nahi karna .. “
“Thik hai hum koi aur dhund lenge .. Kal Subah hisaab kar dungi .. tab chale jaana .. Abhi raat ke 12 baje hai .. hume sahi nahi lag raha Abhi jaane dena tumhe”
“ nahi main Yaha 1 min b nahi ruk sakti “ and WOH left ..
As per the rules, apartment staff and security guards were informed about her exit. That’s when we found out that our house was an afternoon ‘ADDA’ for WOH and her friends (who worked in other apartments in our building) while we both were out for work. They would all finish their daily chores quickly and gather in our bedroom doing what — only god knows.
And here we had destroyed their amusing me-and-we-time routine.
Wait .. that wasn’t the tragic end!
After 4 full days of me back to cooking-bartan-jhadu-poochha-office this WOH again showed up at my door saying “Bhabhi mujhe waapis rakh lo na mujhe aapke ghar achha lagta tha kaam karna”
Looks like she realised pretty early that she doesn’t have a good AC bedroom to gossip with her friends about their respective ‘bhabies’ anymore.
I had learnt my lesson the hard way. And so the only answer I could give was a straight face ‘NO’!
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